Funny Baseball Quotes

This is a collection of funny baseball quotes and sayings. If you don't find these funny, then to each its own. I can't please everyone of you, can I? :)




People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.00.
~Pete Incaviglia


A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
~Earl Wilson


If you don't win, you're going to be fired. If you do win, you've only put off the day you're going to be fired.
~Leo Durocher


Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
~H. L. Mencken


Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up.
~Bob Lemon



You don't realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.
~Mickey Mantle


When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
~Woody Allen


The charm of baseball is that, dull as it may be on the field, it is endlessly fascinating as a rehash.
~Jim Murray


Baseball fans love numbers. They love to swirl them around their mouths like Bordeaux wine.
~Pat Conroy


If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third. (on catcher Mide Scioscia)
~Tommy Lasorda


Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living.
~Phil Linz


Hitting the ball was easy. Running around the bases was the tough part.
~Mickey Mantle


You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.
~Leo Durocher


The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
~Casey Stengel


I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it. ~Rogers Hornsby


Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
~Dick Gregory


This is a game to be savored, not gulped. There's time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings.
~Bill Veeck


A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz.
~Humphrey Bogart


I'd rather hit than have sex.
~Reggie Jackson


Give me some scratching, diving, hungry ballplayers who come to kill you.
~Leo Durocher

I always loved the game, but when my legs weren't hurting it was a lot easier to love.
~Mickey Mantle

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