Funny Alcohol Quotes

These are some funny quotes about Alcohol.


"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to f**k"
~George Carlin

"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
~ Winston Churchill


"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
~ Hunter S. Thompson


"Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life."
~George Bernard Shaw


Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
~Winston Churchill


"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
~Ernest Hemingway



" Work is the curse of the drinking class."
~ Oscar Wilde



Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
~Mitch Hedberg


The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
~ William Butler Yeats


Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
~ Henry Lawson


I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day.
~Unknown


Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
~Kinky Friedman


Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
~ Don Marquis


Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working
~Harold Rudolph


"Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon."
~ Anonymous


"Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money? "
~ Milan Maximovich

One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn’t live like the previous generation. It hasn’t yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.
~ Ron Klugman, Coors Brewing


A drunk mans words are a sober man’s thoughts.
~ Steve Fergosi


The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
~ Sir Winston Churchill



I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. ~ George Best


Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
~Benjamin Franklin


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
~Mega Jones


The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!
~Danny Jansen


"I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling."
~ Frida Kahlo


Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
~Frank Sinatra


Hope you enjoyed these Alcohol Sayings